It’s rare to find complete harmonious balance in ones life. Sometimes you get near to it but then often there will be something that encourages the balance to tip over. That’s just life. But then how many times do we unbalance ourselves? Our mind is the most precious thing we have but it can play havoc with us at times. Anxiety, depression…very common words nowadays unfortunately and still relatively little help out there sometimes. And all it takes, in some cases, is some balancing out in life. Not expecting too much from ourselves or trying to be someone we’re not.
Tori Boughey, founder of TBalance is your go to girl to find balance and harmony in your life.
So here’s the deal… I’ve known Tori for the last six years. Not well at all but enough to be incredibly proud of her achievements so far. We worked in the same company and she was that sunshine girl that would come to my department and lighten up my mood if it was in a bad place or just humour me and make me laugh, which in my opinion is absolutely priceless. One of our last conversations at work, as she sat perched on my desk, just as she was about to embark on her travels and leave her old world behind, was her dream of being a “Coyote Ugly”, up on that bar, spraying water to those who ordered it. She is that girl that brings energy and good feeling to ANY situation without being sickly sweet! She has found her path, and a fantastically suited one at that, and for that I am ecstatic for her! So please don’t read this as a sponsored post at all, but as a proud “distant” friend who believes in this gorgeous girl and knows that she has chosen what is perfect for her. Not many of us do that. To be honest, I’m still trying to work out my career path so high five to her for doing so already!
Me: You used to work at Conde Nast- a large corporate company…what made you change?
Tori: I loved working at Conde Nast but I didn’t feel as though I was going to make a lifelong career there. By the end I was working in Digital, which I loved hugely but it didn’t inspire me like I knew life was supposed to. So I left to go travelling…
Me: How did you get into he holistic works? Was it instant or did it take quite a long journey?
Tori: It was actually a relatively quick process! It was when I was approaching the end of my travels, I was in Australia and had no idea what I wanted to come back to London for. (What I did know was that I didn’t want to be sitting behind a desk in a job that wasn’t fulfilling me!)
It was in the first week of January 2015, and I asked myself what it was that I really wanted out of my year. My response was that I wanted to be the happiest and healthiest version of myself, and that actually if I could make this my career then PERFECT.
I didn’t hang about, I remember being on the beach in Byron Bay, googling away to try and find myself a course! I stumbled across what sounded like an incredible Holistic Health Coaching course at The Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Within minutes of arriving back in London, I was enrolled!
Me: Was was the catalyst that inspired you to teach this?
Tori: When I started the course I did everything in my power to become what I knew health to be. I pretty much cut out sugar, bread, carbs, dairy, alcohol etc… I also upped my exercise routine massively and things started to change. I looked great and felt physically stronger than I ever had. BUT I was anxious, stressed, taking myself too seriously and not enjoying my life. I was confused because I was being healthy! This is when I then came to the realisation that I couldn’t live my life like this, and fair enough you do not want to be at the complete other end of the spectrum, but this to me was hell! I needed balance and surely so does everyone else?
So whilst still studying TBalance was born…
Me: Do you offer group sessions or private one to ones to help people find their inner balance?
Tori: I’m currently offering one to one sessions, to help individuals find their balance, but groups are something that I’ve been thinking about.
When I say balance, I mean balance in all areas of life. Of course I cover food but I also focus a lot on everything else that ‘fills us up’. For example, relationships (with yourself and others), spirituality, exercise and careers. But I also focus on the importance of a healthy mind because at the end of the day, our happiness comes from within.
After a lot of trial and error figuring out what it is that people are wanting help on I have devised two programs:
Self Love and Sustainability: Self love because I truly believe that in order to make changes, they have to come from a loving place, rather than one of self loathing. So we work together on techniques that help one really get to know who they are, what they love doing and how to love themselves (in a non-narcissistic way!). Sustainability because changes that are drastic, unrealistic and unmanageable are not going to last! So in this course it is really about tapping into what works for the individual and tailoring the course to their needs (and working through all the areas – food, exercise, relationships etc.).
Me: Do you have cheat days?
Tori: I absolutely have cheat days! I think that people have a ‘golden’ view about the way that I eat or live my life and I think it’s important to highlight that I honestly eat whatever I want – I’ve just changed my attitude about what it is that I want to be eating… I now understand that a Pret sandwich will not be fuelling my body in the way that perhaps a delicious salad or a wholesome soup might!
Please know that chocolate and cake are still two of my favourite foods!
Me: What’s the biggest mistake we do as humans on a day to day basis, in your opinion, that will throw us off balance?
Tori: Deprivation. When you deprive yourself of the things that you love because you think this will make you thinner or healthier you are heading down the wrong path. If the foods you love fall under the so called ‘unhealthy’ category it is important to change your attitude towards these specific foods and the way you consume them, but going cold turkey may not be the answer.
When you control the thoughts you have over food and eating you have more control over what and how you put them into your body and in turn how it affects your body. If you are constantly thinking that the delicious, Italian pizzas you eat, are going to make you fat – then they most likely will! You are likely to binge on these foods and not think clearly/mindfully whilst you are eating them. However, if you appreciate the food (even when it falls into the ‘unhealthy’ category) your body will receive it as something ‘good’ and you are less likely to over eat and eat too quickly.
Another thing that might throw you off balance is extremity. If your attitude towards the way you live your life is extreme then this is the something that needs addressing because even though you might be able to live your life like this for a while, it’s not sustainable for life because the subconscious pressure that you put on yourself will most likely result in illness.
And one more thing – people so often confuse hunger with dehydration… So make sure you’re drinking 2 litres of water a day!
Me: On a perfect day, what would you encourage someone to do to stay balanced and happy?
Tori: If you don’t do this already, then I would massively encourage you to tune into your physical body as early in the day as possible. Think about how it is feeling physically and be grateful for it. Then be mindful, pay attention to the things around you and the things that you’re putting into your body, with both thoughts and food.
Listening to your body and what makes it thrive is the most valuable thing you can do – remember it’s all about you; what works for me might not work for you (and that applies to your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, child, sibling, friend etc.)
Rates: £80 for individual hour long sessions or £450 for 6 hour sessions.
For further information please contaxt Tori on: firstname.lastname@example.org or 07788875723 and make sure to follow her on Twitter & Instagram @tbalance_ for daily wellbeing posts.